


Repression

by JustGrazingTheTop



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Desperation, Emotions, F/M, Loss, Love, Pre-Time Skip, Romance, Slow Burn, dimitri trying to learn to feel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 01:43:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21128711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustGrazingTheTop/pseuds/JustGrazingTheTop
Summary: Dimitri might have finally found a voice to drown out the thoughts of revenge.





	Repression

Death. Despair. Depression. 

All emotions that Dimitri found himself drowning in when the sun sank below the horizon. He never learned any type of coping mechanisms. Every day he lived he felt the burdens of those who fell. 

When he saw the professor smile for the first time, a small crack of light shined through to his heart. Dimitri tried his best to keep Byleth at arms length--to shield her from the darkness that took those he cared about around him. 

As he drank his Chamomile tea and looked at the woman in front of him, there was an annoying voice in the back of his head, whispering, “She’s too good. She would only be corrupted if she got close to you.”

“Dimitri,” his eyes snapped up from the sugar cubes up to Blyeth’s curious eyes, “Are you okay? I’ve noticed that your change in disposition. During battle, your eyes burn like insatiable flames.”

Dimitri looked away from her eyes, a sickening sense of shame seeping into his stomach. “I,” he cleared his throat, “I am sorry professor. I did not mean to show you that ugly side of myself. I will try harder to with hold my emotions.”

Byleth shook her head, “No.”

“No?”

“No. Dimitri, do you not see? That is your problem,” she took her hand and gently place it on top of the his. “The reason you have this struggle with in you is because you do not deal with your emotions.”

A snort broke the silence between the two.

“Sorry, I do not mean to offend, but are you one to talk when it comes to emotions?” Dimitri pulled back his hand, surprised to find a flash of pain in Byleth’s eyes.  
“I am learning how to relate better with others. As you struggle too with connecting with friends, I thought you would be the best to grow with.”

“Professor I-”

“You do not have to answer me. Keep in mind, I am not your enemy.”

With that, Byleth stood up, shaking the tea cups with her sudden movement, “If you would like to talk, you know where to find me.” 

Dimitri was stunned as he watched her walk away. He knew he was harsh. He wanted nothing more than to turn her around and explain to her that he wasn’t worthy of her worry. That he was doomed to this life of destitute. He couldn't afford any distractions from his goal of revenge. 

As the days dragged on, Dimitri began to feel more warmth. The world wasn’t as gray. He almost felt alive. 

In fact, when he met Byleth in the goddess tower, he realized the admiration he felt looking at his professor was deep. With one glance into her deep blue eyes, the voices in his head stopped. 

With her, he felt invincible. Like they were the only people that existed and all was perfect. 

Then Jeralt died.

The smiles he grew used to seeing stopped. The world stopped. He knew what he had to do.

As he approached the professors quarters, he could hear her sniffles.

Dimitri knocked on the door.

He heard a shuffle on the other side and nothing more. 

“Uh Professor…” He started, suddenly feeling at a loss for words, “Can I please come in?”

With a long creak, the inside of the room was revealed.

“Oh Dimitri. Did you have a question about today’s lesson?”

As he stepped into the room, he saw the overused handkerchief, hastily hidden under a pillow. 

“No, I came to take you up on your offer.”

“My offer?”

“Let’s,” he sighed out the anxiousness that climbed into his throat, “talk about how we are feeling.”

Byleth’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, though it showed Dimitri just how bloodshot they had become.

“I’m not quite sure if I am ready to talk about… it,” she sat on the bed, her fingers picking at the bottom of her shorts.

“That’s okay,” he assured, taking the spot next to her, keeping a reasonable space between them. 

“I want to tell you how it felt when I lost the ones I loved the most.”

It all came tumbling out. Dimitri felt like he was burning. The truth of the last several years of his life made his throat constrict and his eyes swelled with pent up anguish. It was as if his body tried all it could to prevent his true self from being seen.

When he began to shake, Byleth slid toward his side, grasping his hand in hers and rubbing a soothing thumb on the soft underside of his skin.

Finally Dimitri stopped. He lifted his gaze to the woman beside him and saw she had tears of her own. 

“Thank you.”

“I’m sorry. I came here to comfort you and all I did was talk about myself.”

“Nonsense.”

Byleth turned her body to fully face him now. 

“Your story taught me something invaluable.”

Dimitri noticed how close they became he could smell the cool mint of her perfume. 

“What’s that?”

“That no matter how much pain one experiences, life goes on.”  
Dmitri offered a small, sad smile, “Yeah, I guess so.”

“If you are up to it, I would like to tell you about Jeralt.”

“I am all ears.”

Dimitri stayed into the early hours of the morning, listening to Byleth. It was at this moment, he felt truly close to someone. Like the wall he had spent years building had an opening. As she walked him back to his room, Byleth gave him the sweetest smile in the world.

“You know. I have missed seeing you smile. I hope today on you never lose your happiness again,” he said, as they stopped in front of his door. 

He saw a slight blush cross his professor’s cheeks, “I am sorry for being so bold-”

Byleth put a finger up to his lips, “I hope you too never lose your happiness. Promise me to keep talking through your emotions.”

His face felt hot, “Of course professor.”

“I will always be here for you. All of your friends are here for you. Please. Do not shut us out.”

“Never.”

As they went their separate ways, both secretly wished to have stayed together a moment longer. 

Dimitri went to bed that night and he finally felt that he had something more than vengene to live for. That he found a reason to keep breathing. 

He had no idea of the nightmare that soon would consume his life. 

Revenge was soon the only thing that kept him alive.

**Author's Note:**

> Do you think this should have a second part? Im debating whether or not to write this after the time skip.


End file.
